Repetitive

Haven’t blogged in a while and generally I feel way better about any situation after I have written.



I met this guy almost 3 years ago. I admit when I first started talking to him it was because he reminded me of Big and sparked my interest. I didn’t really like him at first but because he reminded me of Big it was something familiar without the actual thing and I enjoyed his company. As with anything after being around someone for a while you grow feelings. Me personally my feelings are far more extreme than the norm. I’m gonna name him Berger to keep up with the "Sex & the City" lingo. I don’t even know where to begin. I’ll start with my feelings since that is something I can express well. I have or had an enormous amount of respect for Berger, we can sit and talk for hours literally and conversation is never dull. In fact every time we see each other we sit and talk for hours. He remembers the craziest things about me and I feel comfortable telling him almost anything. I’ve shared things with Berger that I wouldn’t share with Big or any other male which is crazy considering we haven’t known each other that long. He makes me feel like I can trust him more than I can trust any male in my life besides my late brother. Berger is everything Big is not but the ending is still the same. I have strong feelings for him and he doesn’t feel the same way. I’m a tad modest when it comes to expressing myself to members of the opposite sex and sometimes it can take longer for my true feelings to come to surface. I have expressed to Berger that I like him and he stated he feels the same. Issues: Berger has yet to come across state lines to see me, Berger wants to hang out with me on his time, Berger doesn’t show interest in me (besides when we are together), Berger priorities are all fucked up.

I just feel like if you like someone and are feeling them you would take the time out to see them no?

Recently

I have decided to no longer be friends with Berger. I have expressed my feelings to him many times and he’s showed no interest in making it better. I contacted him and informed him of my decisions. I explained that my feelings for him are growing and I can’t stop them, I explained that though he says he’s interested in me he hasn’t showed interest and the only one who will be hurt in the long run is me. He told me that the conversation wasn’t appropriate through bbm and he would call me later that night I agreed. He bbm'd me late to tell me he was working late and we would have the conversation tomorrow. Still no call. The third day I contacted Berger and thanked him for the call that did not happen and explained that this is why my friendship with you needs to be over, my feelings for him are stronger than his for me. He told me that he worked another double the prior night and that is why he hasn’t called. Still no call. I decide to take a trip to the city that weekend and post it as my status on bbm; Berger contacts me asking me when I am coming and how long I’m staying. BTW Berger was the first I told about this trip and the following was his reaction "kool" "for what?" When he asked me how long I’m staying I asked him why? And he stated so he can see me I told him I’m all set and he "smh" and "wow"'d me. I told him that I didn’t want to be his friend and that means we can’t hang out. Berger got upset with me which shocked me and angered me. How dare you get upset at something when here you are playing with my emotions? I told you how I felt about you and you did nothing. I never asked to marry Berger or be in a relationship. All I wanted was for him to show me how he felt about me and that’s it. Actually I just had an epiphany as I’m typing... Berger did show me how he felt about me by not calling me to discuss this issue. He doesn’t like me or he would have called or taken my feelings into consideration. I’m so pissed but life goes on. Me 3 or 4 years ago would text or bbm and tell him about his self, the new me is going to take a deep breath and move on. Life is too short to be wasting your time and energy on someone who isn’t willing to do the same. I like him but I like me more (too cliché?) Nevertheless I won’t go down the same path as I did with Big. It’s unfair to me so I have to cut all ties. Not saying Berger isn’t a good person because that would be lie, he is. He is one of the best people I have met post Big and it will hurt like hell to stop talking to him but this is something I need to do for myself. If I don’t this will be another Big/Wavy situation in a couple months and I refuse to allow that to happen.



BIG IS (TRYNA BE) BACK btw... SMH!



With that I close another chapter in my life... the horrid love stories of Wavy.